|
[13 Aug 2004|07:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
tonight was a good night for many reasons
~i got to hang out with fun people
~watched a bad ass tv show
~got mad snuggles (more to come tomorrow night i hope)
~got greasy food
~swung on swings AND played on a rockin jungle gym right after sun rise
~got a flower
~i smiled a lot and slept none :)
off to bed now with a smile on my face, thanks guys
|
|
|
[11 Aug 2004|11:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ashlee |
] |
another boring survey and i don't know how to do a link so deal with it!!!!
Full name ? allison rebecca mielcarek
. age - 22
. sex - :( not in awhile
. height ? 5'6"
. location ? just moved back into mom and dad's basement in milwaukee, but i guess its not as sad as my old place in k town
hair color ? pretty red with 2big blonde chunks thank you kal!!!
. eye color ? blue/green
. sexual preference ? i'd let you know if i was getting any ... my preference right now is getting less and less picky everyday i go without
. what do you think of cheerleading? any one that says cheerleading is not a sport can lick my ass. yeah yeah ra ra is not what cheerleading is about. competition stunting is some bad ass shit!
.what brand of deodorant do you use? degree
of the people you've kissed, who was the worst kisser? gary, he like licked me, he got better as we dated
do you like pickles? yeppers the sweet ones are the best
. do you watch porn? not really, i don't own any
. do you have any pets? 5cats in my house, one is mine, princess leia; and 2 rats, r2d2 and c3po
. who are you gonna vote for? kerry
. do you have your own phone line? cell
. your thoughts on abortion? prochoice, want to say something?
. do you like britney spears? love her new song,
. what do you want to do with your life? finish (start) school, be a teacher, have a family. be happy! thats all that matters, i just want to be happy. and make others happy
. ever been butt naked bangin' on the bathroom floor? no, but i was on the bathroom sink, my old bathroom floor was really gross.
. would you ever get plastic surgery? i want to get my ears fixed, but i guess they make me, me, so prolly not
. do you think foreign accents are sexy? mmmmm
. do you like hot dogs? barf
. last time you went to the doctor ? doctor doctor about 2months, head doctor, 1week
. ever taken ballet ? uh huh
. last time you used the restroom ? when i got home from dinner
. most attractive person you know ? hmmmmm tough, prolly my friend shaun, i hope he doesn't read this his head will get even bigger
. piercings? ears were gauged to 1/2in but i took them out now they look funny, nose, labret, nipples, i need to get my belly redone cos its closed :(
. tattoos? pentacle on my left boob, celtic symbol that means strength and beauty through all adversity on my right hip
. shoe size ? 8 1/2
. favorite color ? pink, black and white together. i love bright colors
. describe yourself in four words - crazy, complex, messy, loving
. siblings ? little bro
. coffee cup? pink and white and says little princess on it, bite me.
. last cd you listened to ? ashlee simpson, over and over, i wish she wasn't jessica's little sister, then she would get soooo much more credit cos she's really talented.
. last person you called ? jeffy
. last person that called you ? michelle
. last person you emailed ? i haven't emailed in too long
. last person who emailed you ? ljcomments
. do you wish you could live somewhere else? colorado baby! next summer i hope!!!!!!!!
. do you think about suicide? only every morning when i realize i'm still here and i'm still me, but i get more comfortable in my skin as the day goes on, and everyday it gets a little easier to be me
. do others find you attractive? people like my tits, says the girl with the low self esteem, i don't know
. do you do drugs? is weed a drug? all the pot heads holla back, hell no. ugh i said holla
. do you smoke? no
. do you like roller coasters? i hate waiting to get on them but i always have a good time
. do you write in cursive or print? cursive with a few letters in print i'm so weird
. long distance relationships ? no
. using someone - not intentionally and never again
. killing people – haha toby and i had a huge conversation about how we would get away with it if we ever did
. doing drugs - hello? didn't i just answer this? i don't like druggies, if you do anything, including weed or drinking everyday you have a problem
. premarital sex – yes, please!!!!!!!
do you....
. like the taste of blood – haha yeah
. believe in love – above all things i believe in love
. believe in soulmates ? some where
. believe in love at first sight – no, i did, but i don't. i think that was my problem for ever
. believe in God ? who?
have you...
. ever lied to someone - yes
. ever been arrested – i've been handcuffed and put in the back of a cop car but no
. kissed anyone on your lj friends list - i think i've fucked around with like 4people on my lj friends list, i've made out with atleast 5
. ever been in a fist fight – no, but i want to , i think i could kick some ass
what...
. are you scared of – being alone, clowns
. is the most romantic season – fall
. are you like in relationships ? needy, crazy
number...
. of times i have been in love? real love, two, nate was my first love, and toby was the realest relationship i ever had, he is the entire reason i'm changing into the person i want to be, i wish i could have done it for him and not after him. puppy love, too many
. of times i have had my heart broken? every day i lose a piece of my innocence, and that breaks my heart, i get colder and it hurts.
. of hearts i have broken – too many
. of boys i have kissed – oh god i'll count i think 20 atleast, but i could be wrong, i made a list
. of girls i have kissed – 4, atleast
. of boys i've slept with – 11
. of girls i've slept with – no
. of continents i have lived on - one
. of drugs taken illegally – two
. of people i would classify as true, could-trust-with-my-life-type friends – two
. what (illegal) drugs have you done? – pot and shrooms
. what's the best gift you've ever received? stumped, hmmm i don't really know
. what's the best concert you've ever attended? tech n9ne was bad ass, but my first everclear show at the majeska with soul coughing opening
. if you had to give up either music or sex for the rest of your life, which would you pick? sex, i love music too much
. what's your favorite bad-for-you food? - chocolate cake!
. what rockstar would you be a permanent groupie for, no questions asked?- everclear. twisted, i wouldn't be a groupie though i would be jamie madrox's sex slave
. if you could lose (or get back and re-lose) your virginity to any person living or dead, who would it be? in all honestly i'm glad i lost it to who i did. i don't think i'll ever find someone that loved me like nate did. ugh now i'm crying
. are you a dog person or a cat person? kitties!!!
. what's your favorite US city? – estes park colorado
. have you ever made out with more than one person in the same 24 hour period? – hahaha! i've made out with more then one person at once, that night was toooooooo much fun!
. favorite euphemism for sex – i'll tell you that it ISN'T "bumpin uglies!"
. what's the craziest/stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk? that night i crawled down the stairs to puke in the woodchips was pretty stupid. breaking kaleigh's coffee table drunk dancing on it was pretty stupid.
. what current trend do you think is ridiculous and wish would go away immediately? – the i bought everything i'm wearing at hot topic there for it matches (no it doesn't!!) and i'm cool (noooo you're not!!!) trend
|
|
|
[11 Aug 2004|12:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
stole this from ashley, i think its cute
my nose is stuffy and i can't sleep
If I were a stone, I would be a... moonstone (pink obviously)
If I were a tree, I would be an... weaping willow
If I were a bird, I would be a... anything so i could fly away
If I were an insect, I would be a... butterfly
If I were a machine, I would be a... washing machine (goes around and around and never gets anywhere)
If I were a tool, I would be a... screw (no, thats what i need)
If I were a fruit, I would be a... strawberry
If I were a flower, I would be a... daisy
If I were a kind of weather, I would be a... severe thunderstorm
If I were a mythical creature, I would be a... mermaid
If I were a musical instrument, I would be a... trumpet (sounds fun i guess)
If I were a kind of profession, I would be a... teacher
If I were an animal, I would be a... tiger
If I were anything in the world, I would be... peace
If I were a color, I would be... pink
If I were a fragrance, I would be... lilac
If I were an emotion, I would be... despair
If I were a state or feeling, I would be.... fear
If I were a vegetable, I would be a... potato
If I were a sound, I would be... heartbeat
If I were an element, I would be... fire
|
|
| survey says... |
[24 Jul 2004|12:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
me eating donuts!!! |
] |
everyone i asked said r2d2 and c3po so it shall be, i liked that best anyway. the bad ass one that sits on my shoulder when i walk around the house is r2 and the one that jumps in the air everytime there is a noise is 3po. i am happy with this!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!! they are soooooooo cute you don't even know.
tonight i went on a boat, a big boat, a ship even. i've never been on a boat, it was loud and dirty and now i smell of said boat. i met a gay boatman named kevin, he was nice, he needs to get laid as badly as i do.
i just wrote that like a 3rd grade book report! go me
|
|
|
[23 Jul 2004|05:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
i got my rats today!!!!!!!!!!
2girls (i hope) they're still real small so its hard to tell.
they need names so far i've come up with . . .
kimmy & monique (lead singers of moonpools and caterpillars & save ferris, two of the best chick rock bands ever)
r2d2 & c3po (since my cats name is princess leia)
any suggestions? one is brown and the other is brown and white
i could get another and name them art, craig, and greg (everclear) :)
|
|
|
[17 Jul 2004|08:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
discontent |
] |
i need someone to be my teddybear...
i need someone that is willing to come and stay at my house, in my bed for the soul purpose of being a snuggle toy.
|
|
|
[09 Jul 2004|08:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
finger 11 |
] |
maybe i don't really care, cos i care too much.
|
|
|
[07 Jul 2004|09:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
little john & usher ft. LUDA!!!! |
] |
went to club last night. it was dead and the people i went with didn't feel like staying. so it was an early night. i would say it was a waste of time but i had a very good talk with jeffy that definately made me feel a lot better about myself so thank you doll.
i've been doing a lot of "soul searching" and i really think i've grown a lot in the past few months, even in the past 3-4weeks since i've moved home. but i still feel like i'm missing something. i'm learning so much about myself but i can't get over the feeling that all i really want is someone to make out with...
|
|
|
[03 Jul 2004|04:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
yellow card |
] |
i spent all day painting my brother's room so i can move him in and paint his old room so i can move myself in! my brother and i went and got most of my stuff yesterday from kenosha, all that is left are my dressers and some boxes of stuff i don't really need this second. but i want my dressers now :( i just have no way to get them here. i need someone with a truck or a van, i'll pay you.
the last 3 weeks i have been waking up around this time and staying up for about an hour, its really frustrating, hopefully moving into my own room will help.
i took my brother to chili's after we got my stuff and i got lots of good supportive hugs. i wanted to go to summerfest but i was kind of bummed out and i had too much to do, sorry michelle. kaliegh, jared, and april came over and hung out with me and my folks and they all cheered me up, it was really nice.
i'd like to go to summerfest tonight and see 311 but there is so much to do in the basement for me to feel settled and i have to work, sunday night, monday, tuesday, wednesday day and night so i don't know.
my birthday is monday!!!! i have no plans, if anyone wants to go out, i'm probably going out in kenosha and i would love you to come! otherwise i'll be at club on wednesday and you can all spoil me then ;)
|
|
|
[01 Jul 2004|10:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
optimistic |
] |
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICKI! yeah we haven't talked in like a year but i still care. . .
i want to do something tonight. so someone should call me. otherwise i'll spend the night painting andy's room. which really does need to be done so i can move in completely and not sleep on the couch anymore. but i really don't want to go get my stuff from kenosha cos that just makes all the sad things come back and i cry. . .
i need hugs. i'm almost 22 and i feel like i'm just now starting my life going where it should be and i know that i won't even really get it going for quite some time. its scary. so hug me.
jen if you read this i did get your emails. i want to talk to you but i don't want to be a bitch so give me sometime to sort some shit out. then come hug me.
off to work, i better make some good money today cos my checking account is finally out of negative, even better it might be a little positive! whoo hooo!!!
|
|
|
[27 Jun 2004|09:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 scared |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ani |
] |
blah!
i'm once again, single. i'm so sick of being me. i really am. i don't want to be alone. i just want to be okay. and i can't become okay, if i'm not alone.
in happier news, i got a new car yesterday. 2004 dodge neon, and it's costing me less a month then my 1999 was. so yeah! my goal is to get out of debt in the next year so i can finally get my life together. a lot of things need to get fixed in the next year. i'm scared. . .
so i'm back home. for another year atleast. which means people need to call me so we can hang out (and not spend any money)!
i'm off to work and then either summerfest, or the rave with jeffy
|
|
|
[22 Jun 2004|10:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
isn't it strange that the single emotion of love can make you feel so free and empowered one moment and broken and scared the next?
things better straiten themselves out by monday...
i'm at my folks all weekend, someone should call me so i can go out!
|
|
|
[02 May 2004|08:02pm] |
new number 414-241-3212...
if you care
|
|
| things i'm sick of. . . |
[01 Apr 2004|08:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
i am sick of no one believing in me. its hard enough to doubt myself. but seriously, every time i change something in my life, or make a decision that someone doesn't agree with i'm "ruining my life" fuck! haven't any of you made mistakes? how can you be expected to grow as a person if you don't try new things and fuck up every once in awhile? no one understands. and that just means i have to succeed and prove that i can do this. it hurts like hell that my mom thinks i'm a failure and i don't even know what to do. i think i need to avoid this house until i have the money to move the rest of my stuff out.
i'm also sick of the fact that i feel i can't have male friends. everytime i meet a guy that is cool and i want to hang out with he flirts with me. i don't mean to sound concieded cos you all know i'm not. but why can't i just have friends. why do guys have to make stupid comments. it makes me soooooo uncomfortable. don't use the word sexy to describe your friends. erik this isn't about you, i love you.
i'm also sick of my mom's slow ass dryer taking forever to dry my clothes when all i want to do is go snuggle my boyfriend and cry until i pass out.
this is my last lj for awhile. i don't need people checking up on me. or thinking my life not up to their standards. i'll be back when i'm "better". everyone that matters has my # and is more then welcome to come visit me in kenosha, its only 1/2 hour away.
|
|
|
[01 Apr 2004|07:21pm] |
|
for someone that thinks she's so intellegent to talk shit about everyone's lives, you don't know what you're talking about. and if you actually believe what you just said, and felt the need to talk to michelle about me then this friendship must not have meant much to you in the first place.
|
|
|
[01 Apr 2004|06:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
last night was good. very very good! there were many hot women there, and they all touched my boobs! haha
on another note, this may not be the best place to vent and bitch about this but fuck it, leaving me a voice mail wasn't the best thing a friend should do either...
i am completely fucking blown away by what happened yesterday. last week i was kicked out of my house, and do you know what you had to say about it? i have a migrain, i'm going to bed. what kind of a friend is that? but i dealt with it. anyone that knows me (like my best friend should) knows how hard of a time i'm having right now. knows that when you have nothing and nowhere to go you need your friends more then anything. and for you, my supposed best friend, to not call me. to just read my live journal, my posts about being depressed and scared, and not worry, only judge. how can you read a few things online and judge me, be willing to give up our friendship and not be there for me? fuck that! i'm trying to deal with my shithole of a life. i'm trying to look at the positive things, my boyfriend, my real friends, my school, and my new job. if you think that i'm immature because i want to drink and party in my free time then i don't need you in my life. if you don't agree with what i'm doing with my life that's fine, but to not have the nerve to tell me, or talk to me, or show concern for what is happening then you obviously don't really care. and i don't need you. i have enough to deal with i don't need your drama. you have lived the most sheltered life of anyone i've ever known. you don't understand what i'm going through. but you don't even bother to try. or offer to go out for coffee and talk. or answer the phone when i call. and then to have the nerve to call me and tell me what you think about what i'm doing? where do you get off? seriously! i didn't bother to call you back yesterday cos you're aren't even worth my time anymore. this post was already far too much of an explaination then you deserve.
in happier news, toby is cleaning his room so i can move my stuff in! i will finally have a "home" again :) he said i make the apartment feel like home. wow, i love him! i'm making chicken for dinner!!! yum yum
|
|
|
[31 Mar 2004|09:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 horny |
] |
can a killa that you know
fuck you better then i can?
if you say that they could
bitch yous a lia
you must of never had a juggalo
between your thighs...
oh so true, i got some awesome ass last night . . . that is all
|
|
|
[31 Mar 2004|09:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cranky |
] |
my hair is short. i cut it when i was bored the other day. then angie 'fixed' it.
its been a rough couple of nights. i love toby but i worry he doesn't want to be with me. i'm dumb. i know he loves me. i just am an attention whore and i want him to tell me ALL THE TIME so fuck me.
i seriously peed like 4 times this morning and i have to do it again. what does that mean?
erik i want to go to club tonight
carrie i'll find out my schedule for this week and then you have to come out and play with me.
some one call me today and tell me you love me cos i'm sad :(
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
evercleargrrl's journal
awake